impulsive-artist to my planning-pilot

“You are the impulsive-artisit to my planning-pilot.”

Those are the words my boyfriend said as we paddled into the sunrise, after waking at 5am, packing up camp, loading our canoe and launching into the waves. Living on the island, making a tent our home and letting the sun be our clock left me feeling inspired and alive.

We finished our sunrise paddle that morning, and Remi (the Rhodesian-lab) and I climbed out of the canoe. I pulled it further up on shore and Michael jumped out of the stern, into the water and walked towards me. He took me into his arms, kissed me and told me he loved me. We stood there for a moment, and watched as the white caps crashed into the shore.

We balance each other out. I’m impulsive and a dreamer. Michael is a planner and a realist. My instinct is to go by feel. Michaels’ instinct is to go by logic. I am a moment seeker, and Michael is a consequence thinker… I push us out of our comfort zone, and Michael brings us through the adventure safely. I come up with the dreams, and Michael makes the plans.

Probably the three things that we have the most in common: 1. We both think we’re right, always. 2. We both hate being told what to do, and will probably disagree only because we were told. 3. We both have insane empathy, and without it, the first two would probably have us doomed. 🙂

There are many moments when I stop and look at our life together, and am often surprised that it could turn out this good. Don’t get me wrong. We have hard days too. We have days when we are both filled with anxiety, when we project our emotions onto one another, we argue and sometimes we hurt each other accidentally… We are human, and we do human things. However, I’ve never had an argument that doesn’t end in a long conversation of talking and listening, in forgiveness, understanding, empathy and lastly in “I love you.” 

I found Michael when I started being true to myself. I stopped looking for someone to save me, because I realized I could save myself. I stopped looking for a hero, because I could be my own hero. I stopped aiming to please everyone, because rock-bottom made me realize living to people-please would always result in being broken, dishonest and defeated.

I went through years of therapy to reach a point of not caring so much about what other people thought, and when people voiced their judgements and opinions I learned to keep being true to myself… Because I knew I’d put the work into building a healthy level of self-respect, and I could trust myself.

I met Michael at his birthday party, and eventually our conversations and adventures turned into something more than either of us imagined. I found someone who wanted to be equal. I stood with confidence and told him my story, exactly as it was, and was met with the same confidence in return. Within the first month of knowing each other, someone acted like we were in a relationship, and it resulted in the “let’s figure out what the heck this it” conversation. We talked, I told him he didn’t know me well enough to be in a relationship, he told me the same and then he asked what happened to “old-fashioned-dating.” I was quite possibly won over by that question, and it turned into a wonderful summer of talking, adventuring, no strings attached and seeing what life had in store for us.

We found each other, and we appreciated one another for exactly who they were and what their story told. I found a man who kissed the self-harm scars on my arm, and someone who saw the strong and independent woman their stories made me into. I found a man who was humble, could care less what other’s thought of him and was ready to do whatever it took to make his dreams come true. I was won over by his respect, his authenticity, his honesty and open-mind view on life. I found a man who was unlike any other, and together we took on the world.

Our story is my favourite love-story, and one I’m happy to continue writing day after day.

Here’s a couple shots from our latest adventure.

 

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